The House that Bob Built

A couple thoughts that hit me this week while trying to keep my TV viewing to ESPN, Lifetime, Travel Channel and Cartoon Network.

Now that the election is over and I’ve had time to step back and survey the landscape one thing stands out to me as an extreme travesty most vile. This has nothing to do with politics but with the sheer audacity (pun intended) to plagiarize the backbone of America. Before Joe the Plumber came about this working man was carrying the load for the middle-class everywhere. And like a socket wrench to the gut he has his entire empire ripped from under his steel-toed feet.

Our President-elect ran an excellent campaign full of well-worded speeches and inspirational mantras. This is where we as Americans must take umbrage. While many were moved to action by the words “Yes We Can” I was infuriated at the lost royalties earned by Bob The Builder. This hero of the hard hat coined the phrase many years ago and has been followed by thousands of young children all aspiring to build a better life. Be it paving a highway, raising an I-beam or stamping out social injustice Bob will always be the paragon for such achievement. Thank you President-elect Obama for your efforts but I’ll stick with Bob, an original constructionist.

My second observation is not so tongue-in-cheek. During his acceptance speech Obama retraced his ascent in the campaign. In trying to make the point that he was different than all the other Washington types and came up from the people he rolled off a “word-map” of the events, people and places that lifted him to such heights. Indulge this quote;

“Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and on the front porches of Charleston.”

This sounds very all-American. I can smell the apple pie shared among friends. One small fact betrays the message of the middle class hero. The “Front Porch” he is referring to is 21 King St. In April he made a campaign stop at a $1000 a plate dinner held in the courtyard of the home. A home that is valued at $7.5 million. My only guess is that in the new Obama economy this will be the new middle-class. So my friends, take a look at what you may very well own within the next four years.

China Patterns

A sad realization occurred to me the other day. Soon, these Olympics will be over. And while 11 straight hours of Badminton, Rowing and Rhythmic, Acoustical, Death Cage Gymnastics may get old and boring after a while it is still better than 99% of what is normally on TV. For me, no matter how absurd the sport or how hard NBC tries to provide coverage of events that appeal to women (make no mistake, that’s who the advertisers go for) I will still watch because it’s the Olympics and it’s competition. So with the countdown to 2012 London nearing here are some of my Olympian thoughts.- I think it would be alot funner if swimmers doing the backstroke started on the platform like the others instead of already in the pool.

- Watching weightlifting is similar to watching NASCAR. It’s kinda cool but really you’re just waiting for some one’s arm to snap in the wrong direction.

- The folks that squeegee the badminton court better not get paid the same as the kids who do the tennis courts. Come on! It’s only 17 feet wide.

- Michael Phelps winning by .01 seconds almost felt cheap. It’s as if he’s suppose to win by 23 minutes so anything that close is uncalled for.

- Besides the landings does any regular person see a difference in any of the gymnastics routines?

- Speaking of gymnastics. The new scoring system may be better but I understood the old way alot better. I knew what 9.75 meant. But 15.425?? What the heck is that?! After a while I was waiting to hear,  ” Ooh she scored Pi . It’s gonna be hard to beat 3.14 .”

- There was a U.S. Shot-Putter who fouled on his only 3 attempts. What’s more, he fouled on his final attempt in the ‘04 Olympics. How do you do that? Train for 4 years and not even have a legal throw? Wouldn’t that be something you worked on?

- I am withholdng comment and applause for the track events including the amazing run by Usain Bolt. I’ve come to expect that most track atheltes are using some type of drugs.

- I think water polo should be mandatory for every high school student. This would alleviate our childhood obesity problem since this is probably the most demanding sport in the world.

And once again the Olympics have proven educational. A few months ago I blogged about the uselessness of the metric system here in the States. Well, the rest of the world is having a good laugh at our expense. I’m still not sure how much weight was being “clean and jerked”. Doing metric to standard conversions really takes away from the enjoyment. 100 meters I can grasp. But 78 KG of weight and 22.5 meters for a flying cannon ball makes me have to think too much

God, Country and a Good Time at Church

Not much nonsense going on so far this week so I thought I’d actually write something worthwhile. This past Sunday we had our patriotic service at Church (late because of scheduling issues) and it was very good. The speaker was Clebe McClary, retired Vietnam Marine veteran.
If you have some time, listen to the sermon HERE . Humorous, inspiring and the kind of guy who can easily put the fear of God in you.

Life, Politics and the Fishin’ Hole

   -adopted from blogspot-

I haven’t contributed to the blogosphere lately which is a terrible shame since I’ve noticed the net is lacking for amateur authors. Hey, there’s your real AA. “My name is Curtis and I have a writing problem.” Don’t ask why I settled on Curtis as my fictional scribe. Since this edition is obviously a stream of consciousness I’ll just throw out some stuff that I’ve noticed, read or otherwise lamented lately.

-While waiting in line with 12 other people at the post office the man in front of me declared, not so quietly, ” They could save money and only build these things with one counter since there’s never more than one person working. That’s the thing about having a monopoly!” All of us chuckled in agreement. Shortly after, 2 more lines opened. Not sure if his correct yet not so subtle method worked but , well, yea it worked. I did notice that the stack of letters he was mailing had Pierpont Baptist Church as the return address. Moral of story; Southern Baptist , while occasionally rude get things done.

- While I didn’t watch this I noticed that the latest “Bachelorette“ had 3 guys from Charleston. Apparently they were kind of jerks. This makes 6 Charleston residents who have appeared on the Bachelor/Bachelorette series. None of whom have made it very far. I think ABC will do well to learn one very important fact; cast your cameras westward and find the true home of beautiful, well-healed prospects… Reevesville!  Incidentally, This was funny. To me at least

- We are currently testing a new dog. That sounds like something Dr. Evil would be involved with but actually we’re keeping a dog to see if we want to adopt permanently. A friend can’t keep her anymore so we’re trying to help out as well as give Chloe a friend (the fan mail is more than one dog can handle) This is a larger , 1 year old boxer mix. Meaning, high energy, don’t know how big and strong I am, dog. So far it’s been rough. I very much appreciate Chloe’s calm demeanor and wise ways.

- Art imitating life and such: Not that this blog is art by any means, or life for that matter. But while catching up on the political scene I noticed a crossroad of humor. Previous posts have focused on a trip to D.C. with the help of Congressman Henry Brown and the man, the hero, Hank Hill. Well, it turns out that Congresman Brown is being oppossed in the upcoming election by someone who is currently in….. the Propane business! I only take partial credit for this phenomena.

- Sadly, I just learned that Earl Hagen has passed away. Yea, I didn’t know either. But he is the “whistle” and author behind “Gone Fishin’ the theme to the Andy Griffith Show.
The soundtrack for a generation.

D’Oh, Crack, Ouch

  -More recycled material - 

Update on the latest spinal tappings.
After an X-ray that revealed a neck problem – gee really?- an MRI was ordered. This was my first experience with the “scary tube”. I’d heard many stories of claustrophobic horror. Men reduced to little girls when trapped inside this cylindrical tomb of terror. Well here’s my take; good grief, grow up Nancy. Besides being louder than I thought it was 30 minutes of peaceful rest. The occasional angelic voice asking if all is well made things even more delightful.

So the resulting image prompted a meeting with a neurosurgeon. Here’s where I say it doesn’t matter how small the problem, when someone says “we’re setting you up with a neurosurgeon” it just doesn’t sound good. “You’ll have to see a neurosurgeon to pick up your ice cream cake and balloon animals”. See? still disturbing. But this was a pleasant enough visit which brings me to Homer up there. When he (the Doctor, not Homer) showed me the MRI it looked and reminded me of this picture so I had to chuckle. After I thought about the absurdity I really wanted to laugh out loud. Sadly because my brain looked very similar.

All of which brings us to today. Day 1 of physical therapy to try and alleviate the slipped disc in my C-5-6 region. Alot of boring stretches and movements that most certainly will make me a pilates instructor down the road. I was really hoping for some sort of medieval device that would stretch my spine and allow things to re-adjust. Perhaps after a while I could yell Freedom!! as King Longshanks passes away(sorry, obscure Braveheart reference)
So we’ll see how well this works. Hopefully it does the trick. I’m tired of taking it easy.
Besides, I’ve got that pilates class to teach.

Husband, Father, Neighbor… Patriot !

   Recycled material -                                         

The word hero is thrown around all to frequently these days. An over-paid actor does some good deeds in a third world nation; hero. A spoiled athlete excels in his game of catch; hero. A local deli clerk slices turkey in expert fashion; hero. One may think that such haphazard misuse would sully the true meaning and affect when legitimacy is found. But when it is truly found it shines like a lapel pin of courage on the blazer of humility.

“Bobby I’m going to tell you to do two things I hope you never have to do again, tape the Cowboys game and fetch me an apron.”

Hank Rutherford Hill stands for something. He stands for many things. God, family and the America we once knew. A humble, unassuming Southern gentleman who makes no mistake about what body part he will kick if you attempt to challenge any of these. Tolerating a know-it-all wife as only a real American hero could he turns the job of selling propane and propane accessories into a labor of love. And while he’d prefer a jock for a son he loves and appreciates the diversity that is Bobby. Usually.

“Fine. But I think you owe my lawn an apology.   ……..   We’re waiting!”

A true conservative with a naive, ideal view of the world Hank likes things simple. A full green lawn, a beer with friends and the Dallas Cowboys. Always the voice of reason not only for his friends but for the town of Arlen and its hapless town council. He is who you want representing your values when the idiots of today start legislating.

“Did a woman ruin the Supreme Court? “Yes and that woman’s name was Earl Warren.”

A devout Methodist who has his squabbles with the new female pastor but doesn’t concern himself too much with the traps of labels and theology. He’s a Christian who thinks there’s a right and a wrong. A good and a bad. A novel thought in our grey society.

Perhaps the best example of a hero’s lesson comes as Bobby has taken to the trend of “cool Christianity” and loud “Jesus music” as a passing fad;

“Bobby, you see this box full of old stuff?”

“Yea Dad, that’s all my old junk I outgrew and got tired of.”

” That’s right son, and I want to make sure God doesn’t end up in this box.”

” He wont Dad, He won’t.”

Thanks Mr. Hill. Thanks for helping us keep our lawns as green as yours.

Chapter 1

  Coming soon…..

  Several Blogspot friends are moving over to WordPress so I thought I’d slowly make the transition.  For now this blog is transcribed posts from blogger.  It’s just as good as original material but at half the price.

        Glimpses of Fun.